God is in control, and that is normal.

Today I am crawling a bit. Since Griffin's birth, we have been operating in what feels like crisis mode, and that feels right. It feels right for nothing to be normal because I had Griffin and had to leave him at the hospital and that's not normal. Yet I am starting to grasp that this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint and you can't run this race in crisis mode. Some normal stuff is going to have to happen outside of the hospital. Grant needs normal and I want him to thrive as well. Never have I experienced the desire to be in two places at once more than I have these last few days. I'm starting to accept that this will be a process that will be a matter of months and that no matter how many times we get a new nurse and I ask her the same questions about milestones we must reach in order to bring him home, it's not going to make it go any faster. This is the normal for the next bit and that is overwhelming. To get to the end without flailing or sinking, I'm going to have to make sure I keep my eyes firmly fixed on Jesus. I got up this morning a little out of sorts and started to pray. When I was done, I kept thinking about the story of Peter watching Jesus walk on water. Jesus beckoned him and as he approached, he took his eyes from Jesus, and he began to sink.
If I remain in Him throughout this, I will not sink, not even when things get dark. I'm going to cling to this lifeline today and I am going to recount the blessings that are being POURED out over us by Him and His people. We are in the scariest time of our life and yet we are also being blessed more than any other time in our lives as well. Isn't God wonderful. He is here in the midst of all this. He is ruling over this entire situation. He is in control and that is the normal.
The doctors got Griffin out in time, he is doing exceptionally well for his gestational age, he is being cared for in a wonderful place, with wonderful, loving staff. BLESSED. We have family and friends close that are rallying around us, Sean's Aunt Jane arrives today to stay with us for a bit. Grant adores her and she is a retired educator, a reading specialist for elementary children, to be exact. She will help me homeschool Grant during this time. perfectly BLESSED. Our small group and our church family have signed up to bring us dinners through February already and Grant could literally go spend time with 15 different families ready and willing to love on him at any moment. BLESSED. And each time I pray for Griffin and our family, it dawns on me that there are countless others doing the same, taking my tiny miracle before the Lord. BLESSED.
I am humbled by the way we are being carried through this by God and his people. Thank you for loving us in His name.

Please continue to pray for Griffin. Please pray that he will continue to tolerate his tube feedings well and that he will begin to consistently gain weight, that his bilirubin level remains low and that he is able to start to maintain his body temperature. We are also praying that he will have have his umbilical line taken out soon. Pray that he is kept comfortable, safe and guard him from infection. 

Love,

Stefanie