They continue to up his feedings- up to 26 now, turning down IV slowly and weaning him off of that. We could be IV free by Thursday. He is up to 4.13 lbs. They said he's had a growth spurt! He looks different to me everyday. He takes my breath away.
Grant is doing better as well. He seems to be better accepting this new routine. So grateful for friends that have helped out with him, brought dinners and prayed over our sweet boy. We'd be lost without all you. Aunt Jane continues to hold down our fort. We are nominating her for Sainthood.
I've never before experienced the love of Christ like I have in these last 18 days. I feel broken, but whole and comforted at his feet. We have been brought to that scary, ellusive place, where your own strength is so insufficient that it's laughable and the only way you know you will be able to make it through the next hour, let alone day, is to fully submit to His will, praising, praying, weeping, as a child at His feet. Oh what peace I have found at those beautiful feet. He has filled my heart & my arms with a child I grieved I thought I'd never have. When I accepted what I thought was God's clear answer that we were not going to have another baby, I prayed, "not my will, but yours. Not my plan, but yours. Wash your peace over me, so I may live in your will and not my desire." And He was good.And He gave me peace in my longing that was so complete, it could only come from Him. And
then, in His perfect timing came Griffin. His plans are perfect. He has been faithful to quite our minds long enough in this storm to see glimpses of how he is using this to work on us and for His glory.
Today, my strong boy, this is the song in our heart.
"But you LORD are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lift my head high.
I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down to sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains ."
Psalm 3:3-5
Love,
Stefanie
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Our boy is doing well! Praise God! We have had several good days.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Oh thank you Heavenly Father for healing sweet Griffin's body and for making him so strong. We pray he continues to progress, remains infection free and that his IV holds up well. We pray for his comfort and wisdom for the doctors and nurses. Amen.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Two weeks
Griffin is two weeks old. Well, technically he is 33 weeks tomorrow. The doctors have started to explain how for the foreseeable future, we will always reference two ages- birth and gestational. It's confusing, but it also makes me feel like I am not missing as much. When he comes home, he will be technically a newborn baby, even if he is two months old. I sometimes wish I could fast forward to that moment. This gets hard and I can't imagine making it through another week, but then I hold that sweet boy on my chest and I don't want to breath, move or blink. I want to soak up every single second.
Griffin continued to do well yesterday with his feedings. They are slowly going to bump him up, as tolerated. He is now at 7mls every 4 hours. Slow and steady will win this race. We are hoping his little bowels move today. Yep, back to praying for a little healthy poopy, that is free from blood. The plan is to stop the antibiotics today. His weight is progressing great. Thursday, his weight went from 4.36 to 4.6. They weighed him twice, just to make sure. Last night he gained another ounce. He now weights 4.7 lbs. We are so proud of this strong guy. He is such a fighter. We stand in amazement at the handiwork of our great God. Griffin is a miracle and we are so, so grateful.
I can't believe it has already been two weeks. It has all been such a blur. I get up each day, pump, spend two or so hours with Grant, run to the hospital, pump, hold Griffin in kangeroo care for 2-3 hours (hoping the nurses forget about us and let me hold him closer to the 3 hour mark), pump, eat lunch as quickly as possible, spend a bit more time with little man, run home, pump, spend some more time with Grant, eat dinner as a family, pump and head back to the hospital for some more time with Griffin. Back home to pump yet again and then set the clock to continue to do it through the night, every three hours. As the sun comes up, we start it all again. This is a marathon. Trying to keep up this pace is a big job. So grateful we have an "all hands on deck" support team ready to do whatever, whenever we need. This ships would have sank sometime during this last two weeks without all the prayer and help we have received.
Please pray for my Grant Kenneth too. He asked me to only go see Griffin every other day, since I love them each the same, he deduced that I should split my time more equally. This was after he and I had had a good heart to heart talk and he sobbed in my arms for 5 minutes as I urged him to let it all out. I wanted to sob right along with him, but God held me up. I tried to explain that if he was in the hospital would he ever want me to leave his side and he agreed no. So, we can't not go visit Griffin everyday either. This is more difficult than I imagined it would be. I miss both my boys no matter where I am.
I pray that each day Griffin grows stronger and more healthy. That Grant continues to adjust and holds his own and that as a family, we make it out on the other side of this, stronger, closer to one another and closer to God.
I pray that Mr. Griffin continues to tolerate his feedings well and that his little body will do everything it needs to do to process his food, that he remains strong and infection free after the antibiotics stop and that he continues to gain weight and thrive. I pray that the IVs will l ast as long as possible and that he will not be uncomfortable with them. We pray for wisdom and skill for the nurses, nurse practitioners and doctors caring for him. That they will know just what to do to help him. I pray that God would put a hedge of protection around his little isolate and that He would hold our family throughout this big journey.
Thank you all for your love and support. We still stand in awe of how God is surrounding us with his people. We feel loved, supported and covered in prayer. I cannot think of a greater comfort to me than to know, all over the east coast, God's children are stopping to speak my sweet Griffin's name, praying for him, loving him and lifting us up. What a gift.
Thank you.
Love,
Stefanie
Griffin continued to do well yesterday with his feedings. They are slowly going to bump him up, as tolerated. He is now at 7mls every 4 hours. Slow and steady will win this race. We are hoping his little bowels move today. Yep, back to praying for a little healthy poopy, that is free from blood. The plan is to stop the antibiotics today. His weight is progressing great. Thursday, his weight went from 4.36 to 4.6. They weighed him twice, just to make sure. Last night he gained another ounce. He now weights 4.7 lbs. We are so proud of this strong guy. He is such a fighter. We stand in amazement at the handiwork of our great God. Griffin is a miracle and we are so, so grateful.
I can't believe it has already been two weeks. It has all been such a blur. I get up each day, pump, spend two or so hours with Grant, run to the hospital, pump, hold Griffin in kangeroo care for 2-3 hours (hoping the nurses forget about us and let me hold him closer to the 3 hour mark), pump, eat lunch as quickly as possible, spend a bit more time with little man, run home, pump, spend some more time with Grant, eat dinner as a family, pump and head back to the hospital for some more time with Griffin. Back home to pump yet again and then set the clock to continue to do it through the night, every three hours. As the sun comes up, we start it all again. This is a marathon. Trying to keep up this pace is a big job. So grateful we have an "all hands on deck" support team ready to do whatever, whenever we need. This ships would have sank sometime during this last two weeks without all the prayer and help we have received.
Please pray for my Grant Kenneth too. He asked me to only go see Griffin every other day, since I love them each the same, he deduced that I should split my time more equally. This was after he and I had had a good heart to heart talk and he sobbed in my arms for 5 minutes as I urged him to let it all out. I wanted to sob right along with him, but God held me up. I tried to explain that if he was in the hospital would he ever want me to leave his side and he agreed no. So, we can't not go visit Griffin everyday either. This is more difficult than I imagined it would be. I miss both my boys no matter where I am.
I pray that each day Griffin grows stronger and more healthy. That Grant continues to adjust and holds his own and that as a family, we make it out on the other side of this, stronger, closer to one another and closer to God.
I pray that Mr. Griffin continues to tolerate his feedings well and that his little body will do everything it needs to do to process his food, that he remains strong and infection free after the antibiotics stop and that he continues to gain weight and thrive. I pray that the IVs will l ast as long as possible and that he will not be uncomfortable with them. We pray for wisdom and skill for the nurses, nurse practitioners and doctors caring for him. That they will know just what to do to help him. I pray that God would put a hedge of protection around his little isolate and that He would hold our family throughout this big journey.
Thank you all for your love and support. We still stand in awe of how God is surrounding us with his people. We feel loved, supported and covered in prayer. I cannot think of a greater comfort to me than to know, all over the east coast, God's children are stopping to speak my sweet Griffin's name, praying for him, loving him and lifting us up. What a gift.
Thank you.
Love,
Stefanie
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Just left our sweet boy and he is doing well. Praise the Lord! They started his feedings back this evening and he had no residual left from the first feeding, so that is a huge praise. He is getting only a small amount of breastmilk and they will watch him closely and the increases will be small. His bloodwork from this morning looked good and it appears the infection is gone. Antiobiotics will continue until Saturday. He also managed to gain weight, even while his feedings were stopped. He now weighs 4.36 oz. Big guy!
We are encouraged by this progress and so grateful for good news.
Our prayer is that he will continue to tolerate and process these feedings and that his lil body will respond well. That he will handle these last few doses of antibiotics well and that his body will remain infection free after they cease. We are praying that we are over this bump (which has felt like a mountain.) Please pray for Grant as well. Having Mommy gone so much has been really hard for him. We are so, so blessed that Aunt Jane is here providing much needed stability.
Thank you all so much for the prayers, calls and wonderful meals. We are so blessed to have such loving friends and family. God is using y'all to hold us together. We are so humbled and rest in awe of His provisions.
Please continue to pray for our sweet Griffin Samuel.
We love you sweet friends.
We are encouraged by this progress and so grateful for good news.
Our prayer is that he will continue to tolerate and process these feedings and that his lil body will respond well. That he will handle these last few doses of antibiotics well and that his body will remain infection free after they cease. We are praying that we are over this bump (which has felt like a mountain.) Please pray for Grant as well. Having Mommy gone so much has been really hard for him. We are so, so blessed that Aunt Jane is here providing much needed stability.
Thank you all so much for the prayers, calls and wonderful meals. We are so blessed to have such loving friends and family. God is using y'all to hold us together. We are so humbled and rest in awe of His provisions.
Please continue to pray for our sweet Griffin Samuel.
We love you sweet friends.
Love,
Stefanie
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Continuation of below entry...
To console these Mothers, assuring them our lil guy would be ok. Now God may be lending me super strength, but that was even more than i can take. I need to be surrounded by positivity. The facts can be negative enough. I am staying hopeful, prayerful and grateful because of God's provision and His loving kingdom that have rallied around us.
I am heading to the hospital soon and will hopefully have a G2 update soon.
Thank you for loving and praying for our sweet Griffin. From what I know now, we are continuing to pray that Griffin will respond to the antibiotics and will fight this infection, that his digestive system can heal from this trauma and continue to make good progress and that if they attempt the picc line procedure again, that it will be successful and Griffin will remain comfortable and respond well.
Thank you for blessing us with the gift of prayer.
Love,
Stefanie
"This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust in him. He will cover you with his feather... He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection."
Psalm 91:2, 4
Grateful. Yesterday it really started to hit me how many people are praying for our sweet Griffin. It overwhelmed me and I had a good "Thank you God" cry. On my way driving to the hospital my phone buzzed 3 times with texts from dear friends, letting me know they were praying for our sweet boy. I felt a little stronger after reading each. I've been blessed with beautiful, prayer-filled emails that are litterally food for my soul. I hear God's word in these and I borrow strength that could never come from me. I get to listen to voicemails with encouraging words- friends offering prayer, loving a lil boy they've yet to meet, but doing so as the hands of our God. Who knew Facebook could be such a spiritual weapon? Each promise to pray is like sharpening a knife. I fill bound by prayer. Strenghtened, calmed, loved. I will never be able to thank you all enough. Prayer is what Griffin needs
the most and you are providing that for our family.
God's provision to me is the ability to take this one day at a time. This is a lot. Our little world is our home and the hospital and that is all I can handle right now. Sometimes talking about it takes so much out of me that it gets my eyes off of what is important. It's too hard to have a conversation at this point, speaking all the details, discussing and explaining it, it steals my strength a bit. Did you ever think I would get to a point where I wouldn't want to talk about something? This is shocking to me too! And yes you can laugh at this fact. We finally found something that will shut her up people. I no longer sit in the nursery waiting room to eat because the other Mothers want to chit chat. They tell me about their 3 week early babies who always seem to be going home tomorrow, by the way, and I offer my encouragement and smiles. Then they start to question the details of our
situation and as I recount them matter of factly, praising a God for the good in this messy situation, they start to cry. Twice I have literally had
the most and you are providing that for our family.
God's provision to me is the ability to take this one day at a time. This is a lot. Our little world is our home and the hospital and that is all I can handle right now. Sometimes talking about it takes so much out of me that it gets my eyes off of what is important. It's too hard to have a conversation at this point, speaking all the details, discussing and explaining it, it steals my strength a bit. Did you ever think I would get to a point where I wouldn't want to talk about something? This is shocking to me too! And yes you can laugh at this fact. We finally found something that will shut her up people. I no longer sit in the nursery waiting room to eat because the other Mothers want to chit chat. They tell me about their 3 week early babies who always seem to be going home tomorrow, by the way, and I offer my encouragement and smiles. Then they start to question the details of our
situation and as I recount them matter of factly, praising a God for the good in this messy situation, they start to cry. Twice I have literally had
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sitting here looking at the sweetest lil face. Last night was a lil rough on everyone, but we are feeling better this morning. I keep hearing the song "and when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid, because I know that you love me, your love never fails. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning." This face is pure joy. Better than a rainbow. Thank you God for this promise. Today I feel strong and I am so thankful for that gift. This journey is sometimes an hour at a time, sometimes a day, but never more. We are in His word and trying to not worry about tomorrow. Resting in His promises. Talking to people, I sometimes hear myself speak and I am taken aback that He is holding me together like He is. Without Him, I would be on the floor or admitted somewhere.
Mr. Griffin is holding his own today. He still has an IV, the fourth one. His picc line procedure failed last night. We are praying that the iv holds up today and that they are able to find other ports when the time comes. They may attempt another picc, but not anytime soon. He did pass a lil more stool, which is good. But it too had blood in it, so they just did another x-ray. We are waiting on those results. I am sure this means they will not resume feeding tomorrow.
So today it is an hour kind of day. Please pray his x-ray doesn't show anything alarming and that they read it with accuracy.
Love,
Stefanie
Mr. Griffin is holding his own today. He still has an IV, the fourth one. His picc line procedure failed last night. We are praying that the iv holds up today and that they are able to find other ports when the time comes. They may attempt another picc, but not anytime soon. He did pass a lil more stool, which is good. But it too had blood in it, so they just did another x-ray. We are waiting on those results. I am sure this means they will not resume feeding tomorrow.
So today it is an hour kind of day. Please pray his x-ray doesn't show anything alarming and that they read it with accuracy.
Love,
Stefanie
Monday, January 23, 2012
No steps back today.
Today was a good day for Griffin. His x-ray from this morning looked good. The area that they were concerned about looked a little less concerning and moved today. Praise. He was able to tolerate another dose of the antibiotic. Praise. His billirubin level remained constant, so no lights at this point. All positive news. His bloodwork still looked a little suspect, so they are going to continue with the antibiotics to be proactive against any infection that could be brewing. This will continue for another 7 days. The are going to put in a pic line to replace the IV. This should keep them from having to stick him with a new IV daily- which is what they have had to do for the last 3 days. They should put this in sometime this evening. Please pray that that procedure goes well and that Griffin does not experience too much discomfort. Please pray that this remains free from infection as well.
On the home front, I am not getting much sleep and am having a difficult time staying asleep. Grant is acting out towards me when I am around him. I am not well-equipped to deal with this parenting challenge at this moment. I am trying my best, but feel torn no matter where I am.
We are grateful to have Aunt Jane providing so much help. She has basically taken over all my responsibilities and I am so, so grateful. Grant is at least able to maintain some sort of normalcy in his schedule and I don't have to worry about him when I am away.
God is providing for all our needs. We are so grateful. Thank you sweet friends for your prayers. Every single one of them have given us strength that I know can only come from our great God. If I don't get a chance to respond back, please know that it doesn't mean I am not so grateful for the support, it's just we are in a constant state of go, go, go and no phones in the SCN. Know that I do tell Griffin about the army of God's people who are praying over him and who love him already.
Please keep praying for our sweet boy.
Love,
Stefanie
On the home front, I am not getting much sleep and am having a difficult time staying asleep. Grant is acting out towards me when I am around him. I am not well-equipped to deal with this parenting challenge at this moment. I am trying my best, but feel torn no matter where I am.
We are grateful to have Aunt Jane providing so much help. She has basically taken over all my responsibilities and I am so, so grateful. Grant is at least able to maintain some sort of normalcy in his schedule and I don't have to worry about him when I am away.
God is providing for all our needs. We are so grateful. Thank you sweet friends for your prayers. Every single one of them have given us strength that I know can only come from our great God. If I don't get a chance to respond back, please know that it doesn't mean I am not so grateful for the support, it's just we are in a constant state of go, go, go and no phones in the SCN. Know that I do tell Griffin about the army of God's people who are praying over him and who love him already.
Please keep praying for our sweet boy.
Love,
Stefanie
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Dear friends we need urgent prayers...
Sitting here trying to compose myself long enough to type this out. Our boy has hit a road block and we are very, very concerned. Griffin has a bit of stool in his bowel and it hasn't moved/changed in the last 36 hours. He passed a very, very small amount of stool and it had some blood in it. We are praying this means that the stool is just that and not a blockage. However, that, combined with the fact that he had residual left over from his feeding a couple of days ago, could lead to a condition called NECK. That is an abbreviation and I cannot recall at this moment the entire name. We are praying fervently that his bowels start moving again soon and that he is able to pass this. NECK can cause a serious infection in babies and can also require surgery to remove part of his bowel. The place where a blockage sits can become dead and need removing. As of now, they are not diagnosing this as NECK, but thankfully are treating it proactively like it is.
His feedings have been suspended until Friday at the earliest. They have him on two strong antibiotics. One of the antibiotics can be hard on the kidneys. They test to make sure the kidneys are processing them ok before each dose. The last dose he was not able to receive. They have had to back off of this antibiotic and will test again and see if it is ok to proceed with it sometime tonight. They are doing an xray of his bowels each morning to see if there has been any changes. Thus far, there haven't been. They will continue to do this each morning.
We are concerned and are praying that God will get him through this. We know that He is in control and has a plan for Griffin. I feel helpless as his mother right now. I am curled up at God's feet in search of strength and peace.
Our prayer is that Griffin will pass this stool that is in his bowel very soon and that his kidneys can process the antibiotics so they can continue to give them to him. We pray that there is no more blood in his stool as well. We pray that the doctors and nurses and nurse practitioners have extreme wisdom and know the best way to treat Griffin and also discernment when it comes to how to proceed. I pray that my sweet boy is kept comfortable and that the infection is kept at bay by the antibiotics. We are grateful he is receiving such good care and grateful for our friends and family who are praying for our lil guy. I know God is sustaining us.
Please pray for our Griffin.
Love,
Stefanie
His feedings have been suspended until Friday at the earliest. They have him on two strong antibiotics. One of the antibiotics can be hard on the kidneys. They test to make sure the kidneys are processing them ok before each dose. The last dose he was not able to receive. They have had to back off of this antibiotic and will test again and see if it is ok to proceed with it sometime tonight. They are doing an xray of his bowels each morning to see if there has been any changes. Thus far, there haven't been. They will continue to do this each morning.
We are concerned and are praying that God will get him through this. We know that He is in control and has a plan for Griffin. I feel helpless as his mother right now. I am curled up at God's feet in search of strength and peace.
Our prayer is that Griffin will pass this stool that is in his bowel very soon and that his kidneys can process the antibiotics so they can continue to give them to him. We pray that there is no more blood in his stool as well. We pray that the doctors and nurses and nurse practitioners have extreme wisdom and know the best way to treat Griffin and also discernment when it comes to how to proceed. I pray that my sweet boy is kept comfortable and that the infection is kept at bay by the antibiotics. We are grateful he is receiving such good care and grateful for our friends and family who are praying for our lil guy. I know God is sustaining us.
Please pray for our Griffin.
Love,
Stefanie
Saturday, January 21, 2012
My sweet and very talented friend Karen Shweiky, came by the hospital this week and blessed with me some beautiful photos of Griffin. Hopefully our growing boy won't be this small for long and I am so happy to capture all of his little features. Off to bed soon, but had to upload a few. Will do more as soon as I can keep my eyes open.
Thank you Karen, these are priceless to me.
A little update...
Griffin held his own today. They have begun two different antibiotics. One they have to be careful with his kidneys on. They suspended his feedings all day today. Repeated the x-ray of his belly, which still showed a bit of unprocessed food. We are hoping he can work that through his system on his own soon. They will repeat that same x-ray for the third time in the morning. The plan is also to start him back on breastmilk only tomorrow, through tube feedings. Other than infection, a less benign cause of all this is that his body couldn't process anything other than my breastmilk and when they added the fortified mixture to it yesterday, he body said, whoa, that's too hard for me to break down, so it didn't.
Our prayer is that he tolerates both antibiotics well and that his kidneys are not affected by them, that he tolerates the feedings tomorrow, digesting the entire amount, that his bloodwork continues to show that he is not succumbing to infection and that he is comfortable. He has a little IV in his arm. He seems to be tolerating it well. I think they had a hard time getting it in, judging by all the sticks he had in his little hand this morning. That was hard to see and even worse to not have been there to comfort him. Please also continue to pray for wisdom for the doctors and nurses. That they will know just what Griffin needs and at just the right time. Also for peace for our family. This is rough, but I know our Griffin is God's child and that he is holding him through this. Last night was rough for me.
I got to spend a whirlwind hour or so working on the nursery with Sean's Mom, Aunt Jane and Sean. I kind of sat and they did most of the work. We made great progress and it feels good to be a little more settled when it comes to Griffin. We will be heading back to the hospital tonight. Hoping to hold him some more and praying for a better night.
Please continue to pray for our sweet boy. We love you all and are so grateful to have you loving and praying for Griffin.
Love,
Stefanie
Our prayer is that he tolerates both antibiotics well and that his kidneys are not affected by them, that he tolerates the feedings tomorrow, digesting the entire amount, that his bloodwork continues to show that he is not succumbing to infection and that he is comfortable. He has a little IV in his arm. He seems to be tolerating it well. I think they had a hard time getting it in, judging by all the sticks he had in his little hand this morning. That was hard to see and even worse to not have been there to comfort him. Please also continue to pray for wisdom for the doctors and nurses. That they will know just what Griffin needs and at just the right time. Also for peace for our family. This is rough, but I know our Griffin is God's child and that he is holding him through this. Last night was rough for me.
I got to spend a whirlwind hour or so working on the nursery with Sean's Mom, Aunt Jane and Sean. I kind of sat and they did most of the work. We made great progress and it feels good to be a little more settled when it comes to Griffin. We will be heading back to the hospital tonight. Hoping to hold him some more and praying for a better night.
Please continue to pray for our sweet boy. We love you all and are so grateful to have you loving and praying for Griffin.
Love,
Stefanie
Please pray.
Griffin had a little set-back during the night. They had upped his tube feedings to 35 ml yesterday and were adding extra calories to his milk to help with weight gain. After his 5 p.m. feeding there was quite a bit of residual milk left in his tummy. (they check the contents of his tummy before each feeding to see if his body had absorbed what he had already been given.) After the 5 p.m. there was still 13 ml left. So at the next feeding, they reduced the amount of milk. After they checked that feeding, there was still 8 mls left. This indicated that something was wrong, but they were not sure what. They did an x-ray of his lower abdomen and it didn't show anything. However, the left over milk had a tinge of green color, which indicates something wasn't right. They are concerned it could be an infection. They checked his CBC and she said it did show his body is under some stress. They have started him on antibiotics. They have also given him an IV to receive these antibiotics and fluids, as they have suspended his feedings until 8 this morning.
At 8 they will do another x-ray to see if everything still looks ok. If it does, they will resume his tube feedings with breast milk alone. There is a chance he just wasn't tolerating what was added to my milk. Needless to say, we are concerned.
We are praying that it was just the mixture of the extra calories that has been added to his milk that was causing the feeding issues and not an infection. Please pray that it is not an infection, nor any blockage or major problems. And if it is infection, please pray that he responds to the antibiotics quickly and that they are able to stop it before it gets too serious and puts any stress on his body.
This was not what I expected when I called in at 2:30 a.m. this morning to check on him. We will be waiting for the results from the 8 a.m. x-ray to see how they will receive.
Please pray for our sweet boy.
Dear Heavenly Father, we pray that you put your healing hand over Griffin. We pray that you give the doctors and nurses wisdom to know what will best help Griffin heal. We pray that the tests and x-rays will reveal accurate results so that the doctors can know the best way to move forward. We pray that the antibiotics will help his body fight off any signs of infection. We pray that there isn't anything serious brewing in his little system and that he bounces back from this quickly and is able to resume his regular feeding schedule. Dear Lord we pray that he is kept comfortable and that the IV doesn't cause any complications. We lift up this sweet boy to you and pray for your healing. We know you have a plan for him and we are so grateful he is resting in your loving hands. I pray for peace for Mommy and Daddy, that we will continue to abide in your word and find comfort at your feet. In your sweet name we pray. Amen.
At 8 they will do another x-ray to see if everything still looks ok. If it does, they will resume his tube feedings with breast milk alone. There is a chance he just wasn't tolerating what was added to my milk. Needless to say, we are concerned.
We are praying that it was just the mixture of the extra calories that has been added to his milk that was causing the feeding issues and not an infection. Please pray that it is not an infection, nor any blockage or major problems. And if it is infection, please pray that he responds to the antibiotics quickly and that they are able to stop it before it gets too serious and puts any stress on his body.
This was not what I expected when I called in at 2:30 a.m. this morning to check on him. We will be waiting for the results from the 8 a.m. x-ray to see how they will receive.
Please pray for our sweet boy.
Dear Heavenly Father, we pray that you put your healing hand over Griffin. We pray that you give the doctors and nurses wisdom to know what will best help Griffin heal. We pray that the tests and x-rays will reveal accurate results so that the doctors can know the best way to move forward. We pray that the antibiotics will help his body fight off any signs of infection. We pray that there isn't anything serious brewing in his little system and that he bounces back from this quickly and is able to resume his regular feeding schedule. Dear Lord we pray that he is kept comfortable and that the IV doesn't cause any complications. We lift up this sweet boy to you and pray for your healing. We know you have a plan for him and we are so grateful he is resting in your loving hands. I pray for peace for Mommy and Daddy, that we will continue to abide in your word and find comfort at your feet. In your sweet name we pray. Amen.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Happy One Week Birthday Griffin!
Tonight at exactly 10:13 p.m., Sean and I attended a little birthday party celebrating our sweet boy's One Week Birthday. We did this with Grant his first week, and then every month until he was 1. I think G2's entire body could fit in this hat. So grateful for this sweet boy and his strength.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRIFFIN SAMUEL!
Posting this update from phone, so I'll be brief...He is doing amazing! We got out the umb. central line out, which is a great step and also allows more holding time. Drs uped feeding again and he is getting well over an ounce at each feeding. My body is keeping up with him too! We are still having body temp issues, so please continue to pray for that. If he can regulate that, we can move him out of the isolet- one step closer to bringing him home. He's got many more milestones to reach, but God is just blessing us and letting us all take it one day at a time. I hear all day from the staff, for a 30 weeker, he is doing exceptional. Praise God!
Thank you all for the prayers, meals and taxi rides. I tell Griffin about each of you and all the family and friends he has loving him. He smiles. I know it's just muscle twitches, but hey I can pretend.
Love,
Stefanie
Thursday, January 19, 2012
God is in control, and that is normal.
Today I am crawling a bit. Since Griffin's birth, we have been operating in what feels like crisis mode, and that feels right. It feels right for nothing to be normal because I had Griffin and had to leave him at the hospital and that's not normal. Yet I am starting to grasp that this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint and you can't run this race in crisis mode. Some normal stuff is going to have to happen outside of the hospital. Grant needs normal and I want him to thrive as well. Never have I experienced the desire to be in two places at once more than I have these last few days. I'm starting to accept that this will be a process that will be a matter of months and that no matter how many times we get a new nurse and I ask her the same questions about milestones we must reach in order to bring him home, it's not going to make it go any faster. This is the normal for the next bit and that is overwhelming. To get to the end without flailing or sinking, I'm going to have to make sure I keep my eyes firmly fixed on Jesus. I got up this morning a little out of sorts and started to pray. When I was done, I kept thinking about the story of Peter watching Jesus walk on water. Jesus beckoned him and as he approached, he took his eyes from Jesus, and he began to sink.
If I remain in Him throughout this, I will not sink, not even when things get dark. I'm going to cling to this lifeline today and I am going to recount the blessings that are being POURED out over us by Him and His people. We are in the scariest time of our life and yet we are also being blessed more than any other time in our lives as well. Isn't God wonderful. He is here in the midst of all this. He is ruling over this entire situation. He is in control and that is the normal.
The doctors got Griffin out in time, he is doing exceptionally well for his gestational age, he is being cared for in a wonderful place, with wonderful, loving staff. BLESSED. We have family and friends close that are rallying around us, Sean's Aunt Jane arrives today to stay with us for a bit. Grant adores her and she is a retired educator, a reading specialist for elementary children, to be exact. She will help me homeschool Grant during this time. perfectly BLESSED. Our small group and our church family have signed up to bring us dinners through February already and Grant could literally go spend time with 15 different families ready and willing to love on him at any moment. BLESSED. And each time I pray for Griffin and our family, it dawns on me that there are countless others doing the same, taking my tiny miracle before the Lord. BLESSED.
I am humbled by the way we are being carried through this by God and his people. Thank you for loving us in His name.
Please continue to pray for Griffin. Please pray that he will continue to tolerate his tube feedings well and that he will begin to consistently gain weight, that his bilirubin level remains low and that he is able to start to maintain his body temperature. We are also praying that he will have have his umbilical line taken out soon. Pray that he is kept comfortable, safe and guard him from infection.
Love,
Stefanie
If I remain in Him throughout this, I will not sink, not even when things get dark. I'm going to cling to this lifeline today and I am going to recount the blessings that are being POURED out over us by Him and His people. We are in the scariest time of our life and yet we are also being blessed more than any other time in our lives as well. Isn't God wonderful. He is here in the midst of all this. He is ruling over this entire situation. He is in control and that is the normal.
The doctors got Griffin out in time, he is doing exceptionally well for his gestational age, he is being cared for in a wonderful place, with wonderful, loving staff. BLESSED. We have family and friends close that are rallying around us, Sean's Aunt Jane arrives today to stay with us for a bit. Grant adores her and she is a retired educator, a reading specialist for elementary children, to be exact. She will help me homeschool Grant during this time. perfectly BLESSED. Our small group and our church family have signed up to bring us dinners through February already and Grant could literally go spend time with 15 different families ready and willing to love on him at any moment. BLESSED. And each time I pray for Griffin and our family, it dawns on me that there are countless others doing the same, taking my tiny miracle before the Lord. BLESSED.
I am humbled by the way we are being carried through this by God and his people. Thank you for loving us in His name.
Please continue to pray for Griffin. Please pray that he will continue to tolerate his tube feedings well and that he will begin to consistently gain weight, that his bilirubin level remains low and that he is able to start to maintain his body temperature. We are also praying that he will have have his umbilical line taken out soon. Pray that he is kept comfortable, safe and guard him from infection.
Love,
Stefanie
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Some pictures of our lil family...
When I went it to labor, my contractions started fast and furious, almost like someone flipped a switch at 6:30 p.m. They were consistently three minutes apart, from the very first one. 15 minutes into this, we knew it was no joke and we left for the hospital. When we arrived they tried terbutaline, mag. sulfate and a few others, but nothing stopped them. At 10:13 on Friday the 13th, Griffin made his grand entrance via c-section. Sean's ball number in HS was #13, so we are considering this a good thing. We had no camera, video camera, or really any idea what was happening, so we didn't get to take any good pics until the next day. Thank goodness for camera phones!
Grant finally meets Griffin!
While I was expecting, Grant would read "Goodnight Moon" to the baby.
He brought it to share during their first meeting.
Daddy admiring his boy.
Mommy taking it all in.
He looks sooo much like Sean, it melts my heart.
The first time we got to hold Griffin.
Our little bit.
He loves his pacifier. He didn't want the premie one,
so they had to give him the regular size and he can hold it in himself. Such a big boy!
Peeking at Daddy.
Best friends already.
"She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him." 1 Samuel 1:19
A big name for a little guy- Griffin Samuel Reeder
How did we land on Griffin Samuel? Griffin we had always liked, but Samuel... there's the story. The night I told Sean I was expecting, we were in a major state of shock. After all we had tried, and prayed, and in the end grieved over, for us to conceive without the help of the fertility doctor, floored us. We were overjoyed to know God had blessed us. Every night Sean reads to Grant from his children's Bible, reading one story a night, in order. The night we found out we were going to have another baby, Sean took Grant to bed, opened the Bible for their nightly reading and it so happened to be the story of Hannah and Samuel. It was an amazing gift from God, that through his word, in the most precise moment, he spoke to us, reminding us of His faithfulness, His power and His love. How blessed I am that He has given me these sweet boys to raise for Him.
So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him.” 1 Samuel 1:19
How did we land on Griffin Samuel? Griffin we had always liked, but Samuel... there's the story. The night I told Sean I was expecting, we were in a major state of shock. After all we had tried, and prayed, and in the end grieved over, for us to conceive without the help of the fertility doctor, floored us. We were overjoyed to know God had blessed us. Every night Sean reads to Grant from his children's Bible, reading one story a night, in order. The night we found out we were going to have another baby, Sean took Grant to bed, opened the Bible for their nightly reading and it so happened to be the story of Hannah and Samuel. It was an amazing gift from God, that through his word, in the most precise moment, he spoke to us, reminding us of His faithfulness, His power and His love. How blessed I am that He has given me these sweet boys to raise for Him.
So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the LORD for him.” 1 Samuel 1:19
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How did we get here?
It's Stefanie...
A good friend of mine who went on this very same journey (time 2), has encouraged me to blog as a way to keep everyone up on what's happening. She also said it gave here great journal of everything, and since I am sleep deprived, I am pretty sure I will not recall a good bit of this. Thus far I have been using facebook to keep everyone informed, but not everyone uses facebook, so here we go. If you haven't been getting the Facebook updates, here they are to catch you up. We are so grateful for all the support we have been blessed with. The prayers have sustained us and we are in awe of our great God and the way he provides everything we need. Please continue to prayer for our lil fighter and for Grant as he takes on the big task as Big Brither.
Love the Reeder Four,
Sean, Stefanie, Grant and Griffin
How'd we get here? Well in August, we shared a little news, some of you may remember...
Facebook, August 22, 2011
We are so happy to share such amazing news. Grant is going to be a big brother. We expect our lil miracle in early March. Some of you may know, we had worked with a fertility specialist and were unsuccessful in concieving a second child. We prayed and prayed, and it seemed God was clearly answering "no", so even though our hearts were broken, we trusted that He knew what was best. So, I grieved, and came to peace with our new reality. I gave away and sold every baby item we had, turned the nursery into Grant's homeschool room, and well, in July we got a very big surprise! Sometime God says no, sometimes he says yes, and sometimes he says wait. We are still early, a lil over 10 weeks, and still in a bit of happy shock that this happened with no medical intervention. After trying everything the doctors could give me, and still nothing, for this to happen like this, is well, so shocking to me. And yet, I know for God nothing is impossible. Feeling so in the palm of my Father's hand and praising Him for this amazing blessing. Grant is over the moon excited. When we told him he said, "God heard my prayer." We obviously had shielded him from all that we had went through with the RE dr, so it was so sweet to hear that sweet boy had been praying for a baby brother or sister, (but mostly a brother. ;) He also has now told two relative strangers in Kroger today, thus our somewhat early Facebook announcement. We are praying over this lil miracle and praising our creator! Love, Stefanie, Sean and Grant
A good friend of mine who went on this very same journey (time 2), has encouraged me to blog as a way to keep everyone up on what's happening. She also said it gave here great journal of everything, and since I am sleep deprived, I am pretty sure I will not recall a good bit of this. Thus far I have been using facebook to keep everyone informed, but not everyone uses facebook, so here we go. If you haven't been getting the Facebook updates, here they are to catch you up. We are so grateful for all the support we have been blessed with. The prayers have sustained us and we are in awe of our great God and the way he provides everything we need. Please continue to prayer for our lil fighter and for Grant as he takes on the big task as Big Brither.
Love the Reeder Four,
Sean, Stefanie, Grant and Griffin
How'd we get here? Well in August, we shared a little news, some of you may remember...
Facebook, August 22, 2011
We are so happy to share such amazing news. Grant is going to be a big brother. We expect our lil miracle in early March. Some of you may know, we had worked with a fertility specialist and were unsuccessful in concieving a second child. We prayed and prayed, and it seemed God was clearly answering "no", so even though our hearts were broken, we trusted that He knew what was best. So, I grieved, and came to peace with our new reality. I gave away and sold every baby item we had, turned the nursery into Grant's homeschool room, and well, in July we got a very big surprise! Sometime God says no, sometimes he says yes, and sometimes he says wait. We are still early, a lil over 10 weeks, and still in a bit of happy shock that this happened with no medical intervention. After trying everything the doctors could give me, and still nothing, for this to happen like this, is well, so shocking to me. And yet, I know for God nothing is impossible. Feeling so in the palm of my Father's hand and praising Him for this amazing blessing. Grant is over the moon excited. When we told him he said, "God heard my prayer." We obviously had shielded him from all that we had went through with the RE dr, so it was so sweet to hear that sweet boy had been praying for a baby brother or sister, (but mostly a brother. ;) He also has now told two relative strangers in Kroger today, thus our somewhat early Facebook announcement. We are praying over this lil miracle and praising our creator! Love, Stefanie, Sean and Grant
And so we began to plan and prepare for Griffin's arrival in March. God had other plans...
Facebook, January 13, 2012
It's Sean.........Stef went into labor last night ab 6:30 & nothing was working in trying to slow things down. So @10:13pm Griffin Samuel Reeder was born via csec. He weighs 4lbs & came off the breathing vent this morning. Stef is recovering great & GS is progressing nicely. Grant will get to meet his baby brother today sometime. Please pray for this little guy & Stef.
Update #1
Facebook, January 16, 2012
Thank you all so much who have stopped to pray for our sweet Griffin. We are in awe of how well he is doing. God is holding him in the palm of his hand. We are so grateful. He is continuing to make great strides for a 30 weeker. His bloodwork is looking clear, he is breathing completely on his own, not even on oxygen, which is huge and he is doing great with his feeding tube. I got to hold him yesterday for the first time and even change the most beautiful poopy diaper I have ever seen. He is very clear about his likes and dislikes and yesterday, every time we got to visit him, he would open his lil eyes and look right at us. He is strong. Our God is faithful. Grant has been so sweet and we are blessed that he has been with his Grandparents since Griffin's arrival. He has got to visit Griffin and informed us it was the best day of his life. We are so thankful that G2 is receiving such great care and we know he has been covered in prayer by all of you. We have been so blessed by everyone who has visited, called, texted and prayed. It means more to us than you will ever know. The Doctor told us that is could be as long as 10 weeks or as short as 6 weeks before Griffin can join us at home. This is scary and logistically overwhelming for me to process right now. Please continue to prayer for Griffin to progress well, for wisdom and skill for the physicians and nurses caring for him and that he is comfortable and continues to grow stronger. Our next big task will be to get him to learn to feed. It is hard for preemies to suck, swallow and breath all at the same time. As of now, he is receiving my milk through a feeding tube. The physicians are stressing how important the antibodies are he is receiving from that are and I am grateful that it is working out. He is also being given extra vitamens and calories to help him get stronger. We are praying he continues to progress well and that they can begin this process of introducing a bottle in the next couple of weeks. As he grows, he will also need to be able to maintain his body temp, so with more weight gain, he can work on that. And that is all we know as of now. Griffin has been a surprise blessing to us since day one and his early arrival has been no different. We are madly in love with this lil fighter and trying to draw strength and peace at the feet of our Father as we walk through this new trial. Please continue to pray for our family. Our God is big. Love to all ~ Stef
Update #2
Facebook, January 17, 2012
A little update... last night I was discharged. I had to leave my sweet boy and that was difficult. Yet I had peace- overwhelming peace. Peace that can only come through a Father who promises to carry us. So Griffin and I are taking this one step, one day at a time. He is in God's palm and I am at His feet. That's my mantra.Sean has been amazing through every moment of this. I am in awe of his strength and ability to anticipate my every need. He will be playing a great deal of baseball this summer. Grant fell asleep next to me in bed last night- a rare treat and it was good for my soul. I am so blessed.
We were back at the hospital at 7:30 am and Griffin had a great night. I got to speak to the nurse practitioner on rounds this am and she had nothing but positive news. He is doing so well and is so strong. We are so thankful for where we are. They've uped his tube feedings and will up them again tonight if he tolerates them today. He's moving in the right direction and we are so grateful. I haven't got to hold him yet today because his temp has been a lil low and his warm bed is best right now. I am continent to just sit and look at him. He had his brain ultrasound today and hope to have results tomorrow. Grant got to spend some time this morning with Griffin, touching and talking to his little brother he prayed so hard for. While talking to him, Grant started to wipe tears away from his eyes and I reminded him Griff was ok and he said no Mommy, they are happy tears. Sean got it on video and it is a treasure.
Everyone's love, support and prayers are carrying us through. If I haven't got a chance to text or call back, please know it is not because it doesn't mean the world to me, it's just that things are a lil crazy right now. If I am not trying to pump for G2 (tmi?), then I am trying to ease back into caring for G1. I'm a Mommy of two sweet boys. Still can't believe it! We love you all and are so grateful for everything. You are His hands and feet to us and my how he provides! Please continue to pray for Griffin, that he remains strong, healthy and continues to move forward and that his brain scan comes back clear, also for the nurses and drs caring for him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love Stefanie, Sean, Grant and Griffin
We were back at the hospital at 7:30 am and Griffin had a great night. I got to speak to the nurse practitioner on rounds this am and she had nothing but positive news. He is doing so well and is so strong. We are so thankful for where we are. They've uped his tube feedings and will up them again tonight if he tolerates them today. He's moving in the right direction and we are so grateful. I haven't got to hold him yet today because his temp has been a lil low and his warm bed is best right now. I am continent to just sit and look at him. He had his brain ultrasound today and hope to have results tomorrow. Grant got to spend some time this morning with Griffin, touching and talking to his little brother he prayed so hard for. While talking to him, Grant started to wipe tears away from his eyes and I reminded him Griff was ok and he said no Mommy, they are happy tears. Sean got it on video and it is a treasure.
Everyone's love, support and prayers are carrying us through. If I haven't got a chance to text or call back, please know it is not because it doesn't mean the world to me, it's just that things are a lil crazy right now. If I am not trying to pump for G2 (tmi?), then I am trying to ease back into caring for G1. I'm a Mommy of two sweet boys. Still can't believe it! We love you all and are so grateful for everything. You are His hands and feet to us and my how he provides! Please continue to pray for Griffin, that he remains strong, healthy and continues to move forward and that his brain scan comes back clear, also for the nurses and drs caring for him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Love Stefanie, Sean, Grant and Griffin
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